if only it was warmth

I’m full thanks to you.  Not in a way where I’m completely satisfied, more like I’m fed up.  I’ve tried so hard to give you leeway but at a certain point I can’t take anymore.  You can’t treat me like this.  I love you but I’m running out of space for your mistakes.  I took a walk to nowhere today just to try to clear my head.  There’s an aching in my stomach where I should feel the love you provide.  I’m not mad really, I’m just so disappointed in you.  You were supposed to be everything, now you’re nothing.  I keep thinking about the what ifs.  What if we never met?  What if you were good to me?  What if instead of giving me whatever the fuck this is, you just gave me the warmth I desired.  The warmth I needed.  If only.