her calloused hands...
Her calloused hand connects with my cheek, forming craters across a surface as pale and icy as the moon we hold so dear. I feel the heat rise up into a blush, turning fair skin rosy. She looks bashful, but the bulge between her pants gives away her enjoyment. I try to look up into her eyes, but they dart away before I can gaze too deeply. I decide its time to speak up. “You’re doing great Jules, you really are. Feel free to hit harder if you want to, I can tell you’re trying to hold back but there’s no need to I promise. You can’t hurt me.” I try to smile at the end of my sentence to make it more believable but instead of meeting my crooked grin she looks at my wrists and ankles, tied and bound to the chair upon which I rest. “Hey hey, just look at me please. Just focus on me.” She finally meets my stare and ventures out a sheepish, “Are you sure you want this?” I just smile in return. He lets out a sigh before winding up and striking again. I feel my lip crack and blood fills my mouth. It tastes like God. Its a casual day in the bakery today, nothing I couldn’t handle on my own. And yet, Lucy still sent Esmerelda in as if I need a babysitter. In truth though, I don’t mind her, she deals with the customers while I bake our shops goods. Today I’m keeping it simple, cinnamon rolls I proofed last night, snickerdoodle cookies, lemon bars, and a cheesecake I’ve been cooling since the crack of dawn. I’m rolling out the dough for the cookies when I hear the bell on the front door ring. This gives me no pause, however the voice that follows freezes me in my tracks. “Hi, my names Julia, I’m here to pick up a cheesecake.” We only had the one, so before Esme can even call me I’m heading to the front to see her. She sees me and her smile instantly drops. “Special occasion?” I ask with a grin. She mumbles out something about an anniversary, slaps down three twenty dollar bills and promptly exits. Esmerelda frowns at me and makes some comment in spanish about my bruises scaring clients away. I see a dog standing over me. Well almost a dog. It has the basic shape of a dog with a few changes. Above each eye is four more eyes, all moving in unison, always trained on my every move. His teeth were like mountains, ready to snap my bones beneath their awesome weight. His paws were each twice the size of my head, each positioned around me to restrict my movement. He lets out a ragged torn breath. It smells of carnal sin and tastes like blasphemy. He lowered his snout to my ear and exhaled a single word, “Julia.” I awake with a gasp, spilling water from the bath all over the floor. I take in my surroundings, a glass of wine over there, a couple lines of who knows what white powder over here, and a box of razor blades spilled all over the floor. I notice a bit too late that the bathwater is redder than my glass of rose. I grimace and prepare my nightly mummification. I’ve never really been one for parties, but something told me tonight was the night to go out. I called up a few friends to figure out where the action would be and finally settled on a little house party someone I barely knew was throwing that a friend of mine was gonna be performing at. As soon as I walked in I’m hit with noxious vape fumes and strobe lights like some kind of neon 80’s fuck show. I don’t understand why some people don’t wear deodorant when coming to these things. I wander around for a bit, mingle with those I know, flirt with those I don’t. I was debating on leaving when a familiar face caught my eye. Julia was standing awkwardly in the corner, looking like she hated every minute of being here. I approach with as much grace as you can have off of Molly and Grey Goose. I tap her shoulder a bit harder than I intended and he jumps. “You wanna get out of here?
Her calloused hands caress my cold cheeks. We lay in bed together, sheets rippling above our bare bodies. There are words in the air, unspoken but there nevertheless. I hear it all and I can see in her face she does too. There’s a feeling of heat rising from my depths to meet her every touch. She looks bashful, but still meets my gaze. Our eyes communicate emotions language could never capture. She moves slightly and I flinch hard. Immediately, her face becomes apologetic, but I quickly dismiss it with a laugh. “Hey hey, its okay, I’m okay. You can’t hurt me.” She frowns slightly and speaks up, “Are you sure you want this?” I just smile in response. I move in to kiss her and she meets me halfway. Our lips and tongue dance away the morning, framed by the rays of sunlight breaching our windows. She tastes like God. Its a busy day at the bakery, something Esmerelda and I can barely handle on our own. I’ve been up since midnight getting ready for all the orders we had scheduled. Each person seems to come in right as I’m boxing their orders. When I hear the bell ring, I don’t think much beyond, “Oh shit another one.” However, I hear the mundane sentence, “Hey Esme, I’m here for the cake,” and my heart melts. I know exactly what cake this is so I rush out to meet this special customer. “Hey Julia, special occasion?” She smiles and tells me its for an anniversary before heading out. Esme smiles and comments on how my skin has been glowing lately. I’m standing over a dog, well almost a dog. It has the basic shape of a dog with a few changes. It has no eyes, but four sets of ears, each twitching as if listening to air itself. He had no mouth, just a large nose that breathed in deeper than I thought possible every few seconds. Despite being twice my size, he was rolled over underneath me, letting me pet his belly like he had no cares in the world. His exhales came out like river mist and with each I felt reinvigorated. I laughed and he gave as close to a smile as you can give with no mouth and exhaled a breath that carried the ghost of a word with it. “Julia.” I woke with a soft gasp, barely stirring my bedsheets. I take a second to take in my surroundings. I was in my bed, with a glass of kombucha on my bedside table. All my prescription psych meds were in a neat row behind my plugged in phone. Julia is at the desk, headphones on, editing some footage. I let out a relieved sigh and rise to wrap her in my arms. Those who know me well know I love a good party. Having something to celebrate is itself a reason to celebrate. I decided to throw one at my place to surprise Julia for her birthday. It wouldn’t be anything too big, you can’t really do much in a small apartment anyway. After all of our friends arrive and help me set up the place, we anxiously prance around waiting for her to show. When someone spots her car pulling into the driveway, everyone but me hides and I dim the lights. She opens the door meekly, as if this wasn’t her place too. I can tell right away somethings off. Her troubles are written right on her face. I feel their weight as she falls into my arms. I hold her tight and before anyone can jump out I whisper, “Hey lets get out of here.”
Her calloused hands caress my cold cheeks. We lay in bed together, sheets rippling above our bare bodies. There are words in the air, unspoken but there nevertheless. I hear it all and I can see in her face she does too. There’s a feeling of heat rising from my depths to meet her every touch. She looks bashful, but still meets my gaze. Our eyes communicate emotions language could never capture. She moves slightly and I flinch hard. Immediately, her face becomes apologetic, but I quickly dismiss it with a laugh. “Hey hey, its okay, I’m okay. You can’t hurt me.” She frowns slightly and speaks up, “Are you sure you want this?” I just smile in response. I move in to kiss her and she meets me halfway. Our lips and tongue dance away the morning, framed by the rays of sunlight breaching our windows. She tastes like God. Its a busy day at the bakery, something Esmerelda and I can barely handle on our own. I’ve been up since midnight getting ready for all the orders we had scheduled. Each person seems to come in right as I’m boxing their orders. When I hear the bell ring, I don’t think much beyond, “Oh shit another one.” However, I hear the mundane sentence, “Hey Esme, I’m here for the cake,” and my heart melts. I know exactly what cake this is so I rush out to meet this special customer. “Hey Julia, special occasion?” She smiles and tells me its for an anniversary before heading out. Esme smiles and comments on how my skin has been glowing lately. I’m standing over a dog, well almost a dog. It has the basic shape of a dog with a few changes. It has no eyes, but four sets of ears, each twitching as if listening to air itself. He had no mouth, just a large nose that breathed in deeper than I thought possible every few seconds. Despite being twice my size, he was rolled over underneath me, letting me pet his belly like he had no cares in the world. His exhales came out like river mist and with each I felt reinvigorated. I laughed and he gave as close to a smile as you can give with no mouth and exhaled a breath that carried the ghost of a word with it. “Julia.” I woke with a soft gasp, barely stirring my bedsheets. I take a second to take in my surroundings. I was in my bed, with a glass of kombucha on my bedside table. All my prescription psych meds were in a neat row behind my plugged in phone. Julia is at the desk, headphones on, editing some footage. I let out a relieved sigh and rise to wrap her in my arms. Those who know me well know I love a good party. Having something to celebrate is itself a reason to celebrate. I decided to throw one at my place to surprise Julia for her birthday. It wouldn’t be anything too big, you can’t really do much in a small apartment anyway. After all of our friends arrive and help me set up the place, we anxiously prance around waiting for her to show. When someone spots her car pulling into the driveway, everyone but me hides and I dim the lights. She opens the door meekly, as if this wasn’t her place too. I can tell right away somethings off. Her troubles are written right on her face. I feel their weight as she falls into my arms. I hold her tight and before anyone can jump out I whisper, “Hey lets get out of here.”